a bridesmaid's confessions

I have one confession to make.
It's my first time to walk down the aisle on a wedding. No, don't get too excited, I am not (yet) the bride, I am one of the eighteen bridesmaids.
I remembered when i was in my teenage years, I was silently wishing that some bride will invite me to form part of her entourage just for experience's sake. I would be clad in a beautiful gown and dutifully assisting the bride's needs. I would often picture the bridesmaid as someone who fixes the bride's veil on her way to the altar and distributes the wedding souvenirs post reception. And of course, who can ever forget photo opportunities! There, that does your role for the wedding as a bridesmaid!

bridesmaid reinvented by pastowej

I was so elated when I heard that te ej is getting married. by the way, rejoice credo lagat aka terej/pastowej is my mentor/leader/friend. she is a woman who embodies strength, beauty and courage. She definitely takes the lead especially in shaping young women like me. (You can have a sneak peak of their love story here.
)
Terej also took the lead in reinventing the role of a bridesmaid. she is just a trendsetter! wink! More than the 'i-have-to-be-beautiful-as-i-walk-down-the-aisle-bridesmaid', we (yes, there were 18 of us!) get to have assignments and tasking for the big day preps and even on the big day itself. Believe it or not, we even had our contracts signed!!!
I can say that we were really hands-on just as the bride was. We were cutting stickers, making paraphernalia, buying stuff, etcetera, etcetera.





Each one was doing her part with so much heart and passion. This is not just because we signed a contract but most importantly because our hearts were in agreement. We understand that this is not just a wedding, this is a wedding that God has ordained. And so we wanted to make it (more) beautiful.

here comes the bride and the bridesmaidssssssssssssssss






did i jsut type 18 's'? hehehe
apart from our duties, the bride's personal reminder was for us to have healthy hearts and look good especially on the wedding day.And so the 18 of us, in mocha, champagne and gray gowns were a sight to behold! (ahem)
Did I fail to mention that part of our contract agreement was to be intercessors? so on our way to palos verdes(wedding venue), we were praying really hard asking God to hold the clouds because it was drizzling. Even when the 18 of us were starting to walk down the aisle, the clouds were all gloomy. Amazingly, when it was terej's turn, the skies opened and the sun was all bright and sunny! (Parang natural spotlight lang mula kay Lord;)
God even painted the ceremony with a beautiful sunset and a rainbow on background. (the rainbow appeared minutes after their vows.)
The heavens were really in agreement with us.
We were in tears, at least not all of us but I'm not shy to admit that I was one of the first to cry. You might be asking...hindi po kasali ang umiyak sa contract. Pero pwede ang ma inspire. :)


Blahs from a bridesmaid

On a personal note, it was the best wedding I have attended so far (kasi naman ikakasal pa ako at ang aking mga fellow bridesmaids, diba girls?)
It was also special because I get to spend time with my sisters. The preparation times are bonding times for us plus we get to meet wonderful addition to our sisterhood in the persons of the groom's(kuya gen) sisters.


My meager vocabulary and amateur photos/videos could not vividly describe how beautiful november 12, 2011 was.

God really is the best wedding planner after all. And He's a dream fulfiller too (if ever there is such a term)
He heard my wish, I became a bridesmaid. Next time, I will be the bride <3
ahem:)
Wait, I am already <3

sweet surrender

I am laying down...
All of my fears and insecurities
I should feel ashamed
of the blatant exposure this will cause me
Yet unbelievably I felt clothed
in utmost love and security.
I have never felt this vulnerable
at the same time so secure.
And so I am laying at all down
All my hopes, my desires, my very heart
No holds barred, no holding back.

#superwomannomore

"In the celebration of my weakness, I gave in to Love
and found it much easier to fly."
-MMH,what to do until love finds you

celebrating life.

16 October 2011

Jeff came in for a quick visit from Davao today. He longs to celebrate his 25th with his family. After their beach getaway, we (joyce and I) managed to squeeze in our plan of 'surprising' him.

Good thing Joyce had no duty and I was on my second night shift. Perfect for a simple dinner celebration.

We met at choco mocha(a small resto situated at the heart of mati). They serve the best siomao and choco crumble in town. I was having much needed 'me time' while waiting for them.I was divulging on what the Lord's plan for me. Hmmmm...exciting:)

Before I get lost with my thoughts, the beaming birthday boy arrived as well as Joyce. She brought in a piece of cake minus the candle for Jeff (isn't she thoughtful) After feasting on the yummy cake and siomai, we head on to the municipal grounds to pray.


Take Flight, a city is waiting.
We found the place almost empty.Situated near the park was a covered court and Jeff commented that when he thinks of BCC Mati, he can't help but associate this covered court. Might be the future venue for reload and sunday service (hopes high!)

we immediately proceeded on speaking blessing to the entire city, our families, our leaders in the seat of government. our place has a reputation of unwise government leadership the reason why it took ovver a century for mati to be recognized as a city. But thank God, tides are changing in Jesus' name. We declared that mati is not a hopeless city!It is a city waiting to bloom and flourish. Tides are changing, I can feel it.

Mark 4:26-29
After praying, we managed to share our thoughts.Mark 4:26-29 was vividly impressed to me while I was engrossed in the Spirit's presence.

Mark 4:26-29
The Message (MSG)
Never Without a Story

26-29Then Jesus said, "God's kingdom is like seed thrown on a field by a man who then goes to bed and forgets about it. The seed sprouts and grows—he has no idea how it happens. The earth does it all without his help: first a green stem of grass, then a bud, then the ripened grain. When the grain is fully formed, he reaps—harvest time!
*tears


A beautiful gift.
We believe that the best gift we can ever give to Jeff is prayers. I asked Joyce to pray for Jeff while I agree. It took her minutes to utter a prayer. we were laughing at the thought but there was an inner tug for me to let her lead the prayer. After praying for him, she confessed that it was really hard to say prayers. It turned out that she can not recall the last time she prayed for someone. I was beaming. Truly, it pays to obey God's promptings.

We ended the day with unspoken gratitude in our hearts.
Thankful for life, for friendship that is Christ-centered.

#toGodalonebetheglory

predestined.

attended a service today after a busy night shift...
this declaration song made me wide awake:)
indeed,
I am predestined for greater things...
I am ordained to do greater exploits
#allbyHIsgrace
#Ican'tbutbecausetheLordenables,Ican!


I Have a Destiny

by Mark Altrogge

I have a destiny I know I shall fulfil
I have a destiny in that city on a hill
I have a destiny and it's not an empty wish
For I know I was born for such a time as this

Long before the ages You predestined me
To walk in all the works You have prepared for me
You've given me a part to play in history
To help prepare a bride for eternity

I did not choose You but You have chosenme
And appointed me for bearing fruit abundantly
I know You will complete the work begun in me
By the power of Your Spirit working mightily

© 1986 People of Destiny International/Word Music

Legacy.

Redirected thoughts about how to live my life.

A while ago, I came across a facebook account of an acquaintance. I saw most of her travel/work-related pictures. I must say, there are thoughts lurking inside of me: "oh, how I wanted to visit such places too"..."oh how I wanted a job like that of hers too and I want it fast!!..." So I frantically googled job openings without even thinking twice!My!!I'm a mad woman!!?
Before I get so absorbed with my self-centered dreams, I have to literally take myself away from that friend's page and away from the job search site. And God had a way to remind me in a subtle manner through this youtube link posted from a twitter follower. This is a song by kendra.


here is the lyrics of the song:


"Legacy"

I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much

I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthly list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy

Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one...



This song hit me big time. Please do not get me wrong. God is not kill joy as many of you thinks He is. He wants to give the best for His children,as in whatever their hearts' desire is (and that includes travels). He just wants it ordered though, at His timing and with the purest of motives:)

I remind myself that I am no longer that impulsive Rizza who loves to do things asap without one-on-on consultation with my Father. I am already a Spirit-filled sanguine by the grace of God. I am a woman who hails from Zion. #declaration

postnote: I still would want to travel(so much!!!) may it be work or mission related. It is my desire to see the beauty of this world, in His time:)
But it is my utmost desire to leave a legacy in this earth in such a way that my King will be glorified. And so I say no to:




and I say yes Lord i will..:

tee cheer

thoughts of a busy bee
i manage to squeeze in a few of my heart thoughts even as I race with time. I still need to reread close to 500 questions for my review session which starts tomorrow. But I also believe that the writer (naks) in me is uberly activated tonight. so got to write(type) right away:)

aye aye teacher!
for a few nursing review sessions, I have experienced what it is like to teach a class of 70 for eight straight hours and I must say it is such a demanding experience. yes, it is physically!. the fact that you have to stand up the whole eight hours, and you have to do all the talking and do not ever forget the anxious stares that you get from the students if you do not share the same answer with them. haha! what a stress! but did i fail to tell you that it is also fulfilling? (i guess most of the demanding jobs are really fulfilling, ain't it?) The fact that you are there to give enlightenment to the blurry concept, is in itself a heartwarming task.
did I also fail to tell you that it is rewarding? plus you also feel grateful to all your teachers because you know their task was never easy. (did i also fail to mention that you feel guilty for backbiting your teachers way back school days? yikes. ashamed of my past behaviors)

and so here I am, still lingering on my keyboard when I badly need to get back on the papers I see beside my laptop. well, I must say that blogging is not bad when you want to have a much needed break. (hehehehe!)


postnote: this is a timely post for increasing the Filipino public school teachers' chalk allowance
***thank you st. louis management:)

Daring to Dream with a Deadline

some of the checked items on my list that my Father in Heaven graciously gave ;)

January 2011.
I remember courageously scribbling out my not so wild and wild dreams for 2011. It was truly a step of Faith. Back then, I was not thinking about whether or not these dreams will be realized. All I know is just along with the doodles are heaps of hope in my heart that God will meet the desires of my heart as I continue to delight in Him.
Bearing this in mind(and in heart), I was writing random thoughts *dreams* on my BOD journal. The entries ranged from personal to career to family to ministry to even must have stuffs for 2011.
aaaahhhhhhhhh!!!I must admit I am a wild dreamer!naman:)

Days and weeks pass, I seem to just put my BOD aside. Not that it is irrelevant but maybe because I become so preoccupied with so many things. Once in a while the Lord would remind me of the dreams that He has placed in my heart through people, places and persons. He has a way of resurrecting the dreamer in me:)
Sometimes, He would even pave way for those childhood dreams to be birthed again.
My God really has a mind of His own!

It is the third quarter of 2011. Oh my!how quickly time flies!As the end of 2011 is fast approaching, I can also see many checks on my list! God is truly faithful...Looking back, I am just so blissful that I took those little steps of Faith as I was daring to dream with a deadline. It works! It just works..especially if you have a God who is faithful (and thoughtful - c/o terej) in all He does.

Dreams are not just the language of God's heart, it is also His way of rewarding His people. *naks!

how to save a life

a conversation with a dear friend today reminded me that being a nurse is not just one of the most noble profession to date..it also one of the most difficult, demanding and risky job one could ever have.
unlike being an office girl wherein you can just undo any errors you might make while typing a report on a computer, we, nurses, can never undo an erroneous move. In as much as we want to correct our mistakes, most often than not this has already caused detrimental damage to our patients. Sometimes this may even cause a patient's life.

scary.yes it is. I must admit, I am once again reminded of the gravity of my role as a nurse. when we were student nurses, our clinical instructors would always remind us to be very careful when handling patients. We were bombarded every now and then with these reminders:"check on your patients!" that even a slight elevation in the vital signs will always merit a referral to the doctor. But it is very different now that we are working as staff, you are most of the time so absorbed with your routine and so caught up with your your 'skills' that you have the tendency to be lenient.
hmmmmmm......

The conversation I had with a dear friend was an eye opener. It blatantly reminded me of the fact that my patient's life are in my hands. To be seriously honest, I'm just taking this thought back in again. maybe because I am not into clinical practice for years now. I just officially 'resurrected' my nursing career nine days past. I must say it's exhausting, demanding and sharpening.
yes it is, in a holistic kind of way.

despite these, I still am very grateful for this opportunity to be an angel in the sickroom. This is where God put me and I have resolved in my life that I will become a blessing despite the demanding doctors, toxic patients (and even watchers) and even hard to get by co health workers. I have resolved that my heart(and my mind) will be subject to rebuke, correction, instruction in order for me to know (more...) how to save a life....this time, in the physical realm.

goodbye to the goofy grappy

my groofy grappy

we said goodbye to him last august 10;(
his death brought the family closer. we may have our own differences but we share a common love for this man. He never fails to bring smiles on our faces especially when there are family gatherings..ah, christmas and new years are his favorite. it is his time to shine! time to show off his dancing antics. he is such a cutie when he dances and sings his all time favorite song..his love song to grandma: "you are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray. you'll never know dear how much i love you!..."

i remembered singing that song when he was in the intensive care unit holding back tears...indeed, we all have stories to tell of how he shed his ray of light to us:)
the most remarkable to me was when I arrived from davao I hurriedly went to his room and checked his stuff. I saw many of his timeless things(green flashlight who was with him for ages, the alarm clock, batteries,pens, all stuffs in assortment). He so particular with his belongings..In the corner sits his collection of books, most of them bibles in many versions and languages. While I was scanning them, this worn out blue bible caught my attention. it was the most battered and the one he read the most I guess because it had a lot of side notes and marks. as I continue to skim through it, i was surprised to see that He used my baby picture as a bookmark:) :(

The thought that somebody must have interceded for me all this time made me smile.
thank you lolo.i love you po:)

postnote:
*thank you to the icu staff who was very gracious in allowing me to stay even if it is past visiting hours.
**was looking for me and my grappy pictures.asa man to nko na save oi?;(

the love language test

my very own love language result. I have been seriously wanting to take this test but I kept forgetting it.
Just a while ago, a window pop out of my computer screen. I decided to give it a try and it was the love language test.
It is a series of 30 item quiz wherein you have to choose between two preferences.
Well, I must admit that I was having a hard time choosing.
To my mind, I seem to be a multi lingual when it comes to the four letter word L-O-V-E. Or so I thought.
Well, the results speak for itself.
My primary love language: quality time!!!
Then come words of affirmation and physical touch in close second place.

So, what is your love language?
You can see for yourself.
here's the link.

http://www.afo.net/hftw-lovetest.asp

Dormant no more

breaking the silence
after a year and a half of being dormant, I finally got the nerves to post something worthwhile here in my blog. Being home but far away from home, (I'm not being senseless here..i just moved recently to my hometown after seven years of residing in Davao) I get this bizarre feeling of ambivalence. It feels like you get the comforts of a nice real home (warm home made meals prepared by grandma) yet you still feel alienated because you have been dearly attached to your another home away from home. Okay. i am losing my train of thought. anyway, the real reason why I am breaking the silence is that I eventually got bored with all the social networking site mania, not that I would not use it again, it is just that I am looking for some great avenue to blurt out my thoughts.


Rekindling the blogger in me
The other reason why I activated my blog is that I got the inspiration from random people. Their entries really tickled the blogger in me...to name a few:
Terej - pastowej.blogspot.com
Michelle Perry - fromtheunpavedroad.com
lj - liallejulianne.blogspot.com

You've got to check their blogs, there are a lot of good stuff in there!!

No crying over spilled milk
I actually regretted the times that I did not spare a time to write here in my blog. I mean, there have been a lot of nice things to share over the days that I haven't written anything. As the cliche goes, no crying over spilled milk!!!!
Oh well, I think I should just redeem the time by writing as often as I could.

WRITE AWAY!!! ;)